I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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