I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize