There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
