yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
