big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
