He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
