i permit you to call me
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
