Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
