My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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