Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
