I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
