Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
