lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My vagina just clenched in fear
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
