My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
