You're so nebulous sometimes
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
