me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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