ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
