I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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