I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize