just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
