Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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