I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
