Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize