I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
