im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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