I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize