i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
sex in a hospital.. check
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
