So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
