Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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