He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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