I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
