It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
