Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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