I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
