if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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