he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
