I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
