Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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