I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
