Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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