i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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