Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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