so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
