Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
