Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
