Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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