can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
