and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
