I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you will always have a special place in my vag
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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