My nipple is on Facebook.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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