Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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