I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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