I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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