if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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