i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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