we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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